I had Surgery back on Sept 1st, and have been taking it easy, since I have at least 4 weeks off of work.
I won’t go into details of the surgery, except for the worst part for me, which is being put under anesthesia, or put to sleep as some people say.
I loose time. Meaning, when I go under, everything is blank; and when I am woken up, it feels as if I was only out for an instant, but in reality I have been out for 4 hours. I do not have a sense of time passing. . I remember nothing and I do not dream during that time.
In my mind, I have lost 4 hours in time that I cannot account for. I know that sounds weird but this is how I feel.
It is not the same thing when you are sleeping. When sleeping, most people dream, or have a sense of time passing as they sleep. You know you have slept for 4, 6, or even 8 hours, by either dreaming, coming in and out of conscience during the night, or other small indications that lends it self to the night. You wake up rested and mostly ready for the day (minus the jolt of caffeine).
Coming out of anesthesia, someone calls your name; you don’t recognize the voice; you hear strange noises and other voices that you don’t recognize; and you are in a different room from where you started. A dense fog comes over you and you blank again for a few moments, until you hear the voices again, and you are moving to a different room.
It takes a long time before you are coherently aware of what is going on around you.
I feel very vulnerable... I hate loosing time…
Monday, September 07, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
pain...
Pain reaches my heart every day I am not close to you.
I try not to remember, but I do, and it hurts
Do you not see?
Do you not care?
You confuse me, again and again…..
I cannot dwell on you any longer.
Until you decide….maybe you have….
I try not to remember, but I do, and it hurts
Do you not see?
Do you not care?
You confuse me, again and again…..
I cannot dwell on you any longer.
Until you decide….maybe you have….
Thursday, April 16, 2009
?...?
Have you seen my face?
You have seen my eyes
You smile, and I smile
Have you seen my heart?
Why do you not hear me?
I listen to you
I am alone
Why can’t you stay?
I can not breathe when you are near
Where are you?
Do I cry for you?
…... yes ......
You have seen my eyes
You smile, and I smile
Have you seen my heart?
Why do you not hear me?
I listen to you
I am alone
Why can’t you stay?
I can not breathe when you are near
Where are you?
Do I cry for you?
…... yes ......
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
In Passing....
As we pass from one moment to the next,
Our lives are touched by so many people.
Some by a smile
Some by a word
Others by a touch
As we pass from one moment to the next,
Friends are created
Some by a smile
Some by a word
Others by a touch
As we pass from one moment to the next,
We are connected.
And, in that moment
We smile
We speak
We touch
And in passing by, in that moment
A memory is made.
Our lives are touched by so many people.
Some by a smile
Some by a word
Others by a touch
As we pass from one moment to the next,
Friends are created
Some by a smile
Some by a word
Others by a touch
As we pass from one moment to the next,
We are connected.
And, in that moment
We smile
We speak
We touch
And in passing by, in that moment
A memory is made.
Tuesday, December 02, 2008
My cure for the Economy...
The economy sucks and the government thinks giving money to the Car makers will stimulate the economy. They are WRONG!!! The only thing it will stimulate is the conglomerate’s pockets giving them a cheap thrill! And within a few months nothing will have changed, except now the government will have to be “Bailed out by some other country”
What the government needs to do and I am proposing to each and every one who happens by my blogg, to write or call their congressmen and demand the “TRICKLE UP ECONOMICS”
Yes that is what I said “TRICKLE UP ECONOMICS”
Here is how it works.
Take the money the government is planning on giving to the multi million dollar companies who can’t seem to manage "pouring piss out of a boot with the directions on the heal”, and give to the tax payers of the United States.
Now we worked the basics out below,
The government gives “US”, the tax payers the bail out money instead of the conglomerates, splitting it up among us. This would approximately give each tax payer about $100,000.00 each. (In some house holds it would be double because of two tax payers)
Now “We The People”, will in turn take this money and start paying off bills; buying new cars; buying new housing; rebuilding on existing housing; buying new clothes; pay for college; take trips; go to restaurants; go dancing; buy groceries; buy gas; have that elective surgery; and save some for a rainy day.
These small actions by “US” the lowly Tax payer will be in the long run “STIMULATING” the economy by “trickling up” the funds that the government provided.
The trickle up theory would make for a much faster turn around in the economy (buy just about 9 months) and the economy would be better, not perfect but better.
If you think this proposal is a good one then please by all means LET THE GOVERNMENT KNOW!!!” Before they throw money away !!
Thank you
What the government needs to do and I am proposing to each and every one who happens by my blogg, to write or call their congressmen and demand the “TRICKLE UP ECONOMICS”
Yes that is what I said “TRICKLE UP ECONOMICS”
Here is how it works.
Take the money the government is planning on giving to the multi million dollar companies who can’t seem to manage "pouring piss out of a boot with the directions on the heal”, and give to the tax payers of the United States.
Now we worked the basics out below,
The government gives “US”, the tax payers the bail out money instead of the conglomerates, splitting it up among us. This would approximately give each tax payer about $100,000.00 each. (In some house holds it would be double because of two tax payers)
Now “We The People”, will in turn take this money and start paying off bills; buying new cars; buying new housing; rebuilding on existing housing; buying new clothes; pay for college; take trips; go to restaurants; go dancing; buy groceries; buy gas; have that elective surgery; and save some for a rainy day.
These small actions by “US” the lowly Tax payer will be in the long run “STIMULATING” the economy by “trickling up” the funds that the government provided.
The trickle up theory would make for a much faster turn around in the economy (buy just about 9 months) and the economy would be better, not perfect but better.
If you think this proposal is a good one then please by all means LET THE GOVERNMENT KNOW!!!” Before they throw money away !!
Thank you
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I Don't Understand....
I do not know how to take this any more.
You confuse me….
I don’t understand
There are moments when I can see right though you.
I know what you are thinking and how you are feeling.
Other moments are muddled with emotion that I cannot explain…
Leaving me in the dark again, alone, trying to find my way back.
Why do I care if you don’t
Why should it matter to me if it does not matter to you….
Why can’t I just leave and let you go..
I don’t understand.
You confuse me
I do not know how to take this any more..
You confuse me….
I don’t understand
There are moments when I can see right though you.
I know what you are thinking and how you are feeling.
Other moments are muddled with emotion that I cannot explain…
Leaving me in the dark again, alone, trying to find my way back.
Why do I care if you don’t
Why should it matter to me if it does not matter to you….
Why can’t I just leave and let you go..
I don’t understand.
You confuse me
I do not know how to take this any more..
Monday, September 29, 2008
Another Accident....
My Daughter has had her first car accident.
She was not hurt(thank god), and the accident was not her fault (yah!!), however it has been and will be a total inconvenience for her and for me.
Today by 10:30, I have had at least 6 calls from different auto-body repair and medical (chiropractic ) repair. Austin had 15 calls concerning the same thing! This is what I consider assault and abuse of one’s time and sanity!
It is like a feeding frenzy! They smell a little bit of burnt rubber and hear the crunch of metal against metal and the vultures swarm and circle hoping to land for smorgasbord of green that may have bled from the pockets the insurance company.
It is ridiculous to have to deal with the vultures, beating them off with a stick, telling them point blank that they are ambulance chasers and need to find another victim. I am tired of it! And the mail has not started yet!
Now I know these vultures have to do their job, but I mean really! 21 calls total before 10:30?? What happened to privacy! We have privacy laws protecting us from people having access to our medical records without our permission, privacy laws for employers to follow about our employment, why cannot we have privacy for accidents we have? If she was hurt, I have a doctor that we can go to. If she had gotten seriously hurt then the hospital would have been the next choice.
I am not going to send her to some fly-by-night phone call chiropractor that may have gotten their degree from a mail order catalog! I would have taken her to her trusted doctor and if need be, he could refer me to what ever specialist needed to assist her in her recovery.
I am sure there are people, who do not have regular doctors and may appreciate a call or two, but maybe not 20 of them, but who knows they may like the attention. Maybe they want to sock it to the other person, especially if it means sucking money out of an insurance company.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way shape or form have an “in” with the insurance company, I don’t work for them nor do I advertise for them. I just don’t believe in getting money for something that is contrived by a scare tactic or that was not deserved in any way shape or form.
But, if it was “needed”, by all means she would have been in the hospital getting what ever medical attention needed, and the insurance company would have covered it.
I am just glad that the other guy had insurance. His insurance has been very nice to me and my daughter (I know I am just a claim number) and they have handled this with the up-most professionalism.
They have totaled her car; she has only had this car for about 4 months. The check thy provided was at least 100.00 more that what she originally paid for the car (we have already deposited the check) , so we have begun looking for another car. They have given us a week and a half to find another car before they take the broken one. Her car is still drivable and it the damage caused did not seem it would have totaled the car, but the insurance stated that inside damage may have incurred which will move the price even higher, so it was best to total it.
So now we are franticly looking for another car. One that runs and one that is good on gas; hopefully the calls will stop, the mail will slow; such a pain;
I am so thankful that she was not hurt…
She was not hurt(thank god), and the accident was not her fault (yah!!), however it has been and will be a total inconvenience for her and for me.
Today by 10:30, I have had at least 6 calls from different auto-body repair and medical (chiropractic ) repair. Austin had 15 calls concerning the same thing! This is what I consider assault and abuse of one’s time and sanity!
It is like a feeding frenzy! They smell a little bit of burnt rubber and hear the crunch of metal against metal and the vultures swarm and circle hoping to land for smorgasbord of green that may have bled from the pockets the insurance company.
It is ridiculous to have to deal with the vultures, beating them off with a stick, telling them point blank that they are ambulance chasers and need to find another victim. I am tired of it! And the mail has not started yet!
Now I know these vultures have to do their job, but I mean really! 21 calls total before 10:30?? What happened to privacy! We have privacy laws protecting us from people having access to our medical records without our permission, privacy laws for employers to follow about our employment, why cannot we have privacy for accidents we have? If she was hurt, I have a doctor that we can go to. If she had gotten seriously hurt then the hospital would have been the next choice.
I am not going to send her to some fly-by-night phone call chiropractor that may have gotten their degree from a mail order catalog! I would have taken her to her trusted doctor and if need be, he could refer me to what ever specialist needed to assist her in her recovery.
I am sure there are people, who do not have regular doctors and may appreciate a call or two, but maybe not 20 of them, but who knows they may like the attention. Maybe they want to sock it to the other person, especially if it means sucking money out of an insurance company.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way shape or form have an “in” with the insurance company, I don’t work for them nor do I advertise for them. I just don’t believe in getting money for something that is contrived by a scare tactic or that was not deserved in any way shape or form.
But, if it was “needed”, by all means she would have been in the hospital getting what ever medical attention needed, and the insurance company would have covered it.
I am just glad that the other guy had insurance. His insurance has been very nice to me and my daughter (I know I am just a claim number) and they have handled this with the up-most professionalism.
They have totaled her car; she has only had this car for about 4 months. The check thy provided was at least 100.00 more that what she originally paid for the car (we have already deposited the check) , so we have begun looking for another car. They have given us a week and a half to find another car before they take the broken one. Her car is still drivable and it the damage caused did not seem it would have totaled the car, but the insurance stated that inside damage may have incurred which will move the price even higher, so it was best to total it.
So now we are franticly looking for another car. One that runs and one that is good on gas; hopefully the calls will stop, the mail will slow; such a pain;
I am so thankful that she was not hurt…
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