Jealousy

Jealousy stems from ones lack of understanding of ones inability to accomplish what they wish they could have or should have done.
It comes from the inner most boughs of your subconscious letting you feel the heart break of defeat, the pain of never getting there first; the feeling of failure.
So we dig on that person, cut them down, trying to justify out true feelings.
Why? Because they accomplished something that we only dreamed about; they, are the writers, the singers, the models, and we cut them down. They are accomplishing their goals and yet we are still sitting….Sitting and waiting.
For what?

"Born Only Yesterday"

I wanted to share this little story I wrote when Austin, my daughter was in second grade, now she is a senior and will be graduating! Life Move's soooo fast!!!

I titled this; “Born Only Yesterday”


“I love you! Have a good day!” “I love you too Mom! See ya later!” She shouts at me as she bounces from the car, her bright eyes shinning; her two front teeth to wide for her mouth beaming back at me. She turns and bolts up the sidewalk meeting a couple of classmates along the way. I sigh as I watch her long hair swish against her pink jacket; her book bag, dragging the ground as she moves to the door and disappears into school.
She’s in the second grade now and in a few short weeks she’ll graduate and ready for third grade.
But she was born only yesterday!
Yesterday, the doctor announced “It’s a girl!” as he laid her into my arms. All the pain from before, shifted to joy as I gazed at my little girl. I carried her for what seemed forever and now I hold her for the first time; her dark gray eyes observing me as well. She has 10 toes and fingers a perfect little baby. My life changed, and I pondered, what will she be like? Like me? Like her Dad? Or a combination of both? Will she be tall will she have hair!? I hope, she has none now. Will she grow up strong? Will I raise her right? Can I even take good care of her and give her what she needs?
When was her first step? What was her first word? She’s out of diapers now and moving fast; growing; talking; laughing; crying; playing; learning; working; thinking; living; growing-growing. She is in the second grade – onto third. Soon she’ll be in high school, discovering boys; learning about herself, who she is and what she wants to be.
Graduating, then hopefully college, working hard for a degree; graduating again and out into a good and promising career.
Finding her a spouse; getting married and having her first baby; I’m a Grand Mother now, watching my Grand Child grow… into a happy life.
I stare at the empty sidewalk. School has begun. Time has flown so fast, she’s grown so much in such a short time! I’m not sure where time has gone! Time is so quick I can’t slow her down! I need more time with her! Does she know I love her and I want her to be completely happy and have self worth!
I need her to need me. Will she always need me? To help her walk; to talk; stand on her own! Yes, she still needs me, but she’s growing up too fast!
I stare at the empty side walk with my memories; my thoughts fade into reality when I hear…
“Mommy lets go home and Play!”
My son, his big brown eyes gazing at me “Let’s go Mommy!”
I sigh, Shift the car into gear, he’s three, and he was born only this morning……...

New Year Resolutions

Ok… I guess I should make some…. Hopefully I can get through half of them before next year……………..


Hear it goes.

1. Become more organized. BIG One on my plate! I have started with the Christmas decorations, by going thru it all and getting rid of stuff and re-packing It all up to fit in one spot in my basement so I can find it next year without Searching thru all of my stuff. (However, I have now found a few items that have missed the storage boxes..... I have also hit the after-Christmas ales…)

2. Loose weight. ANOTHER BIG item to accomplish…. (Sitting here eating Chocolate Kisses that I found at a 75% off Christmas sale isn’t really helping this cause, but the bags of Kisses were only .79 cents!!..{I bought 6 bags}… Justified…… Sale candy does not count toward the diet so I am OK)

3. Cut back on spending….. After the After-Christmas sales are depleted……

4. Exercise my Body…. I have a bike that I bought last year and rode a few times. I am going to try to ride it more this year… weather permitting….. Time permitting…. Body permitting

5. Exercise my Mind…. Ok… I have a mind …. Somewhere….

6. Finish writing my book…. This one I do want to get done this year. I have been writing this book for over 5 years now and I NEED TO FINISH IT!! I hope I can.. IT would feel FABULOUS! And if I can get it published!!

7. Be a Friend…… Keep in contact with old friends…… Make new friends……

8. Don’t get thrown in Jail… OK.. I don’t think I will have to worry about this one too much… However, I do know a couple of Lawyers…. Just in case….

9. Finish projects that I have started….. I have a lot of projects ….. One of them being #1 listed above……#6 above……

10. Take myself out of control …… Imagine…. Play….. Let go….. Fly…..

These are my resolutions for the year…What are you resolving to do???