Birthdays.
I guess we all have them and mine is coming up in a couple of days. This is a time that I reflect on my past, from where I came from, to where I am going now. And I wonder, if during the times where I had to make decisions in my life, where I had to choose which way to go. If, I had chosen a different path, a different road……… Where would I have ended up at today?
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Monday, July 17, 2006
Midnight Swims
The botl awards. This is an award ceremony much like the Tony’s or the Oscars in Hollywood. It is for a community theatre that I belong to. It was a very entertaining night, some people won awards that I expected to win, others won that I did not expect to win. All in all it was nice, except that it was sooo hot in the theatre! The air conditioner was on, but because it has been in the 90's yesterday, and the air conditioner was working at full tilt but was not producing any results. When I left last night at 11:30pm I was hot and sticky from sweating most of the night. I went home and stripped in my living room and jumped into our pool.
No one was around and it was dark (which is a good thing because I did not want to scare anyone (sorry folks not a body worth looking at)).
I floated around the warm water watching the stars above. I felt like I was in a state of peacefulness with in myself. It just seemed so freeing to be floating nude, as if I was back in the womb of my mom. Nothing binding me, nothing holding me, just free. By myself, in the dark, with the stars.
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Running away from everything
There are days and even weeks that I feel like that I need to run away from home and not come back. This is what I feel like right now. Everything seems not to be going the way that it should.
Everything seems to be breaking at once, and no money to fix them. Items that have broke in the last 6 months; The refrigerator; The coffee pot; The clothes Dryer; Two TV's; The septic Tank; The pool filtration system; If one more thing breaks in this house I will have to scream!
Job hunting is not going well. I have posted my resume on monster again and applied for a position thru there, and well of course I have not heard from them as of yet, but I have gotten a call from a company that no one in their right mind should work for, and an e-mail from another company that I have never heard of. I have also sent my resume into several positions offered a OSU but have not heard from them either (was told they can be slow).
Kids are wanting money to do what ever (of course everyone has this who has kids)
Present Job is driving me nuts
I want to run away. Just leave and not return. Go someplace where I can forget all of this.
I want to go someplace where I can have fun or relax or not do anything at all.
Somepeople would say "Take a vacation" but you have to return from a vacation. I dont want to return. I just want to go.
My luck my car would break down on the way.
Everything seems to be breaking at once, and no money to fix them. Items that have broke in the last 6 months; The refrigerator; The coffee pot; The clothes Dryer; Two TV's; The septic Tank; The pool filtration system; If one more thing breaks in this house I will have to scream!
Job hunting is not going well. I have posted my resume on monster again and applied for a position thru there, and well of course I have not heard from them as of yet, but I have gotten a call from a company that no one in their right mind should work for, and an e-mail from another company that I have never heard of. I have also sent my resume into several positions offered a OSU but have not heard from them either (was told they can be slow).
Kids are wanting money to do what ever (of course everyone has this who has kids)
Present Job is driving me nuts
I want to run away. Just leave and not return. Go someplace where I can forget all of this.
I want to go someplace where I can have fun or relax or not do anything at all.
Somepeople would say "Take a vacation" but you have to return from a vacation. I dont want to return. I just want to go.
My luck my car would break down on the way.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Procrastination
Procrastinate - To put off doing something (that is not pleasant to do), until some future time; to post pone habitually.
Procrastination and Procrastinator
This is the short definition of this word that is listed in the Webster's New World Dictionary.
This seems to be also the word that describes our house hold right now. Everyone is putting off stuff that needs to be done today, until a later date.
My son has been putting off doing the dishes until they are so piled high that he needs help in doing them... Well tonight he is doing them but not without a huge fight. He can think of almost anything just not to do these dishes, from that he is tired to he is hungry or he will do something to hurt himself, thinking that will get him out of doing the dishes. Well tonight he had the floor wet, so he slips and falls on the floor and starts to cry that he can’t get up. I told him that even if he breaks his leg tonight, he will finish the dishes first, and then I will take him to the hospital.
My Daughter does not like to do any house work. I had asked her tonight to pick up the living room (only papers and stuff lying out of place). A job that will take her all but 5 minutes to do, Only 5 minutes!... We spent the next 10 minutes arguing over the fact that she did not have time and she needed to paint.
My husband puts things off around the house that needs fixing or just some routine maintenance; to the point that it is now broken beyond repair or it is a major repair. This runs into a lot of money which if fixed or maintenance in the first place...... We are constantly bickering over what needs fixed first.
Me, I have been putting off looking for and registering for scholarships for my daughter, I have put off folding laundry until I have 6 baskets sitting around that needs folded, I put off cleaning out the car, and cleaning out my closets (both now resemble one an other), I have got to plant my plants, weed my garden, and clean my house..... It never seems to end..... I am the ultimate Procrastinator, and I wear this label well. I am not sure why I do this, these are things that need done. They are the unpleasant things in life, the routine things that once done..... You just have to do them again later... So why do they now when you have to do them later anyway?
Tonight I put Procrastinate on the back burner if only for the moment.
To let you know...
The dishes are done
The living room is picked up
Things are getting fixed around the house (but we still bicker over which is first)
And I got my laundry folded, the garden weeded, plants planted...
Cars and closets are not cleaned, scholarships still in need of being searched for.
I guess I will do that tomorrow,”After all, tomorrow is another day"
Procrastination and Procrastinator
This is the short definition of this word that is listed in the Webster's New World Dictionary.
This seems to be also the word that describes our house hold right now. Everyone is putting off stuff that needs to be done today, until a later date.
My son has been putting off doing the dishes until they are so piled high that he needs help in doing them... Well tonight he is doing them but not without a huge fight. He can think of almost anything just not to do these dishes, from that he is tired to he is hungry or he will do something to hurt himself, thinking that will get him out of doing the dishes. Well tonight he had the floor wet, so he slips and falls on the floor and starts to cry that he can’t get up. I told him that even if he breaks his leg tonight, he will finish the dishes first, and then I will take him to the hospital.
My Daughter does not like to do any house work. I had asked her tonight to pick up the living room (only papers and stuff lying out of place). A job that will take her all but 5 minutes to do, Only 5 minutes!... We spent the next 10 minutes arguing over the fact that she did not have time and she needed to paint.
My husband puts things off around the house that needs fixing or just some routine maintenance; to the point that it is now broken beyond repair or it is a major repair. This runs into a lot of money which if fixed or maintenance in the first place...... We are constantly bickering over what needs fixed first.
Me, I have been putting off looking for and registering for scholarships for my daughter, I have put off folding laundry until I have 6 baskets sitting around that needs folded, I put off cleaning out the car, and cleaning out my closets (both now resemble one an other), I have got to plant my plants, weed my garden, and clean my house..... It never seems to end..... I am the ultimate Procrastinator, and I wear this label well. I am not sure why I do this, these are things that need done. They are the unpleasant things in life, the routine things that once done..... You just have to do them again later... So why do they now when you have to do them later anyway?
Tonight I put Procrastinate on the back burner if only for the moment.
To let you know...
The dishes are done
The living room is picked up
Things are getting fixed around the house (but we still bicker over which is first)
And I got my laundry folded, the garden weeded, plants planted...
Cars and closets are not cleaned, scholarships still in need of being searched for.
I guess I will do that tomorrow,”After all, tomorrow is another day"
Sunday, July 02, 2006
Babies.....
Today at church, I held my friends new born baby boy, and in so by doing this has put me in the mood........ I need another baby...... This will never happen, because I am well over 40, and also the means have been tied if you know what I mean. However the urge is still there.
But I love babies. I especially love the ones that are only a few weeks old. They are so pure, so innocent. They fit in the curve of your arm so perfectly... and they sleep so peacefully. And when the curl up when they are in the midst of stretching, that is my favorite.
I sat and held this beautiful baby all through the church, and fed him and burped him as well.
He is a sweet baby. One that I wish I could once again have. But it’s only an urge. Which for most women, the urge never goes away.
At the end of church, he started to get a little restless (most likely needed changed) and fussy. I, at that point was more than happy to give him back to his mom so she could change him. That, my friends is an instant (and temporary) cure for me of wanting a new baby (until the next one comes along).
But I love babies. I especially love the ones that are only a few weeks old. They are so pure, so innocent. They fit in the curve of your arm so perfectly... and they sleep so peacefully. And when the curl up when they are in the midst of stretching, that is my favorite.
I sat and held this beautiful baby all through the church, and fed him and burped him as well.
He is a sweet baby. One that I wish I could once again have. But it’s only an urge. Which for most women, the urge never goes away.
At the end of church, he started to get a little restless (most likely needed changed) and fussy. I, at that point was more than happy to give him back to his mom so she could change him. That, my friends is an instant (and temporary) cure for me of wanting a new baby (until the next one comes along).
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